Parenting Article "I Want It Now!"

Hi Everyone,

Following is a parenting article I found thought provoking, so I'm sharing it with you :)

Written by Scott Noelle, it proposes that while we often demand patience and acquiescence in our children, we don't always employ a lot of patience ourselves. Interesting reading which encourages us as parents to think about the choices we make in our interactions with children....

"I Want It NOW!"

The inner process of creating requires two things: asking and receiving.

People often fail to get in a receiving mode because of its paradoxical nature. To receive what you want, you must be free not to have it. The longer you're willing to wait, the sooner it will come.

If your child is complaining about not having what s/he wants right now, s/he's stuck in the asking mode. Ironically, parents often exacerbate the problem by saying or thinking essentially the same thing: "I want the complaining to stop NOW!"

To help your child get in a receiving mode, model it: get in your own receiving mode about your child's receiving mode! :) How? Simply imagine your child happily anticipating the fulfillment of his or her desire.

As you deliberately enjoy that vision (even if your child is still complaining), you become the change you wish to see.

And when you demonstrate the receiving mode often, your child will eventually fall into it with you — naturally and willingly.

By Scott Noelle

Scott Noelle is a father of two, parenting coach, and the author of The Daily Groove: How to Enjoy Parenting... Unconditionally! Through his website, www.enjoyparenting.com, Scott offers a variety of inspiring and practical resources for leading-edge parents.

Copyright (c) by Scott Noelle. All Rights Reserved. Reprinted With Permission.

And for more on conscious parenting....next post I will review Alfie Kohn's book Unconditional Parenting.

Talk Soon, Cynthia x

Finding A Rhythm In Homeschooling

Hi Everyone,

I've been thinking about routines as a homeschooling family and how valuable (and rare) it is to follow the natural rhythms of life, especially in our results driven society.

One of the hardest things for me to do when I first withdrew Alexandra from school over 5 years ago was to slow down and enjoy our time together. I loved being with my children, it's just that I felt an external pressure to achieve something....even now I'm not sure what that something was :)

Since then I have realised that the external pressure I felt to conform was actually self-imposed and came from a lack of trust in myself as educator and my children as learners. It took me a while to realise that children generally self-regulate their own learning and social life.

My constant worry that we weren't achieving enough academically and socially was actually working against us finding our natural rhythm as a family. My own children continue to teach me this lesson in trust every day by continuing to be passionate learners and socially content.


Once I read a bit about homeschooling and had gained enough experience through living, talking about and observing the homeschooling life, I felt ready to relax into things a bit. Immediately I became less stressed and less inclined to indulge in 'external referencing' and much more willing to enjoy the time doing what my children and I enjoyed doing rather than tailoring our days to fit into someone else's expectations (real or perceived!)

Nowadays I feel extremely grateful that we have a much enriched family life as a result of homeschooling. We enjoy both structured and free time, and we go out socially a couple of times a week. This combination works for our family. Some people choose more structure, free time, more or less socialising, it just depends on where preferences lie as a family unit.

We worked out our own routine (such as it is) pretty organically, and things run quite smoothly for us. The children have enough time for exploring the yard, collecting chicken's eggs, helping me to bake, drawing, writing or just sitting and watching a butterfly flutter amongst the lavender.

Sometimes by the second or third day at home the kids are starting to snap at one another and we need to get out to 'blow away the cobwebs'. We invariably come home recharged and ready to relax into our natural rhythm again.

Depending on the nature of the outing, the children may be excited to extend their knowledge of a subject. One example is Jay's enthusiasm after we visited some local wetlands and collected specimens to view under a microscope ....once we got home he raced straight to his science books and literally sat for hours pouring over them and sketching what he'd seen.

Alternatively, if we go to a park or other outdoor event where the children enjoy climbing, jumping and interacting with their friends, they will generally relish the quiet of home as a sanctuary after a busy day.

All of these experiences are worthwhile and add a wholeness to my children's days as homeschoolers. They are connected within the community and still enjoy their own time to develop personal interests at home, and indeed to find their own natural rhythm in life.

Talk Soon, Cynthia

PICTURE - THE MAP BY MARY CASSATT

Book Review - Family Math

Hi Everyone,


I've been recommended a book called Family Math for my younger children. Written by Jean Kerr Stenmark et al, and first published in the 1980's, Family Math is full of hands on mathematics ideas for the 5-12 year old.


Topics covered include number, space, measurement, data collection, and the usual contingent of maths subjects, but they are presented as games, experiments and problem solving challenges rather than the usual rote learning and copying out of problems so common in traditional maths programmes.


This book is presented in a way that makes learning relevant and fun. It satisfies the requirements of the Education Department mandates for home education as you work your way through the book, and can support your child's learning even if you just delve into it occasionally for ideas when you're a bit stuck.

Materials required for the activities are those generally available within the average household. Set up time required seems to be minimal for most activities, leaving more time for actively supporting your child in their learning.


I'm off to order my own copy now, hope the kiddies are as impressed with the activities as I am :)


Talk Soon, Cynthia x

100 British Poets by Selden Rodman

Hi Everyone,

Here's another poetry review I wrote for the Bluebell Books site. I share this poetry book a lot with my children as there's a wide variety of works in here, including lots of yummy Shakespeare....enjoy :)

Today I'm sharing an anthology of poetry edited by poet and critic Selden Rodman. First published in 1974, 100 British Poets covers poetry in England from Chaucer (translated into modern English), through to Shakespeare, Emily Bronte, the Beatles, and most poets of note in between.

In the introduction, Rodman states

I included nothing that failed to pass the test of gut reaction. 'The sound of the axe when it enters living wood.'

And this is evident in the choice of poems chosen. I have been reading this collection for years and every time I pick it up I find either a beautiful piece of work to lose myself in, something challenging or even vengeful, but always superbly crafted and engaging.

I would recommend this book for readers who enjoy good poetry, and whose tastes range over a number of styles and eras. This book is inexpensive to purchase, and easy to find online.

I will leave you with a poem by Dante Gabriel Rossetti (1828 - 1882) from The House of Life:

Silent Noon

Your hands lie open in the long fresh grass,-
Your finger-points look through like rosy blooms:
Your eyes smile peace. The pasture gleams and glooms
'Neath billowing skies that scatter and amass.
All round our nest, far as the eye can pass,
Are golden kingcup-fields with silver edge
Where the cow-parsley skirts the hawthorn-hedge.
'Tis visibile silence, still as the hour-glass.

Deep in the sun-searched growth the dragon-fly
Hangs like a blue thread loosened from the sky:-
So this wing'd hour is dropped to us from above.
Oh! clasp we to our hearts, for deathless dower,
This close-companioned inarticulate hour
When two-fold silence was the song of love.

Dante Gabriel Rossetti

Talk Soon, Cynthia x

Story Writing

Hi Everyone,

I've mentioned before about how I am finding my way with how to educate Jay, my 6 year old who is predominantly a kinesthetic (tactile) learner. He learns primarily by experiencing the world around him.

Up until now, in addition to playing board games with the family, Jay has copied out letters and words, built words out of Lego, been read copious amounts of story books and readers done some Jolly Phonics all at his own prompting.

I have been really pleased with how motivated he is to learn, and have decided to trust this intrinsic motivation as a guide to which direction to take next. Now he has moved onto another stage of development....story creation.

Jay has been telling detailed stories to us, starting invariably with Once upon a time, then he narrates the plot while he jumps around, uses various character voices (he's got a pretty impressive range), usually the 'good guys' end up defeating the 'bad guys' and ends with: And they lived happily ever after. The End. We record this word for word, he binds the pages with string ("like a real book") and asks us to read his book back to him.

This tells me as his parent that he understands the importance of a beginning, middle and end of a tale. To keep a story interesting you need some twists and turns, and a bit of conflict which is usually resolved in the final paragraph, and character development is crucial...all of which he's pegged.

I take this as a reminder that our children already know how to learn, it's our job to facilitate them where we can and trust them with the rest.

Talk Soon, Cynthia x